Posted: November 13, 2011 at 9:44 am
AUTHOR: SheiFunmiLove me, Feed me, Fuck only me
So urm, do relationship quotes annoy you? I don’t know if I’m speaking for myself only when I say; today’s idea of a perfect relationship sucks Camel balls! Oh wait, do perfect relationships exist sef?
I wasn’t gonna make any twitter references but urm, the shit Tweeps spew there about relationships and what not, takes away my appetite for fun, craze and a good no-karma mind-fucking.
Excuse my deep Yoruba, but 70% of relationship ‘experts’ or what do they call them these days, are fucked up freaks-in-denial high off sperm or cunt juice. Yes, I said it. Err.. I typed it rather.
Some people’s idea of a good relationship makes me laugh for days. Not!
I definitely wouldn’t mind a “Fuck me, Feed me, Fuck me again then love me later” type of relationship but then again, I’m experienced enough to know; there are more cons than pros when a relationship is based on sex.
Don’t stone me yet. According to my Mum, a good relationship should be: Love me, Feed me, Marry me then Fuck me.
*Loud cough*…*Suffocates Mum wiv’ Kisses*
Apparently, my Mum hasn’t seen the movie “When Harry tries to Marry.” Marriage isn’t for every Tomiwa, Dickson and Harry. Pun very much intended.
Since I have a mild case of commitophobia, I’ll rather settle for a Love me, Feed me, Fuck me type of relationship and see where that leads me oh! Life isn’t Nollywood.
So, off I go to BBM to ask a few of my female friends; In one sentence, what’s your idea of a good, if not perfect, relationship?
“Understanding. If they understand each other, everything should fall into place.” – Nnenna.
“I don’t have a ready made answer o. There is no standard na. But me I like a peaceful relationship, no fights and I don’t av to be explaining myself.” – Olayimika
“Putting yourself before the other person. Lmao! The other way around.” – Cynthia.
There.. all three of them are experienced females. None of them mentioned sex! :’(
I wouldn’t wish a “Fuck me, Fuck me, Fuck me everyday, then Love me when you remember” type of relationship on my Kid Sister. So I guess it’s wrong to demand it from other peoples’ Sisters or Daughters.
Sex can definitely make or mar a relationship. Ponder on that for a minute or two while I go buy some condoms.
- Breezi.
Twitter: @OrishaNinuPrada
Nov 13, 2011
It confuses me that a lot of so-called relationship gurus have all this theories to what a perfect relationship should be.
In my opinion, there are no theories to a perfect relationship, how to please your partner or how to make ur partner stick with you, absolute BS!
But there is one thing thou…. aside from the couples who have agreed to a relationship where there is no sex involved (if such exists), a relationship is not concrete without good fucking. You would be deceiving urslf if you think otherwise, and i can almost alwys bet ur partner is getting it from somewhere else.
SO PLEASE STOP BELIEVING ALL THESE, 22 STEPS TO HAVING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP!!!!
Get with it, be real!!!
Happy sunday, time to go church x
I think the phrase your looking for is “friends with benefits” or a sex slave. All you’re gonna get with that is the feeding and fucking part. The only person that can give you all this is a girlfriend. So get over your commitophobia, and find yourself one! :-p Nice post btw :-) Loved it :-D
I’m an advocate of good sex buh if that’s all you have, it will fizzle out in the end. That is why you, Mr Breezi might eternally hop from every Dolapo, Chichi and Mbong. Get urself some substance coz in the final analysis, that’s what really matters.
Hhehehhehhehhehhe
Abeg allow those girls
This love issue is true but thing is we don’t have a tracking device to find the rib of our ribs, hence some ribs stab our hearts and render us heartless.
It’s just a survival mechanism, ‘commitmentophobia’ that is…
As for me, I’m ‘Feed me (I love FOOD), Feed me (again), Fuck me, How’s that your friend Bilikisu (:|)’.
Nice post Orisha…
1stly tosin iz a phoooll 4 dis post buh wot kan I say its da naked truth pple ders nufn lyk lurv 2 start wiv…if u aint rose n jack in titanic den u dnt noe shii bou lurv *bite me* …n I kan comfortably say dat 99% of relationships consists of 2 pple above :| #EndOfStory O:)
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Nice write up in general. I feel, though, that pondering on what defines something as perfect or otherwise is something left for the really idle. Perfection depends on the couple in the relationship, not on any generalized definition. Some people actually stay in a relationship cos they enjoy the sex, while some, for other reasons. It all depends on the individual. :D. I’m done.
Everyone has their own definition of what a perfect relationship is and that is their taste. I mean, as long as both parties are happy, I think you can already call that a perfect relationship.
Only the two people in the relationship know how it is pinching them. So perfection is a thing of the mind.
Dnt realy know if u all wil view it from ma own angle but blif me sincerely,i no longa blif in love,long lastin relationship or wateva u galz call it….lol…ilm not a badt boy or a heartless like u ar presently thinkin,GALZ made me whu i am…………………
I agree wif Brian.. Always find Happiness n wot you want †☺ perfect will olredi be perfected.. “I ℓ♥√ع you” dat s D̶̲̥̅̊ gr8test lie ever invented! *winks*
Breezi am certainly for the ‘feed her, fuck her & fuck her again’… ‘Perfect relationships’ is a bull crap english name given to ‘getting a good return for ya investment in a coupling or ‘relationship’, – give it any name…
1st off kenny do You knw a million oda girls feel thesame way You do? It’s a foot 4 tot or wateva dey call dat crap… But anyways serzly You guys the whole luv relationship thingy from my own perspective is jst a generally accepted means or reason for pple to get laid and try to forget their pathetic lonliness….. It works like this You meet this guy/gurl You think he/she can keep a conversation an whoola! You guys end up fucking and You den start the short lasting infactuation called a relationship isn’t it hw it works??? Huh?! Init?
Hehehehe nice piece from a wise yoruba geh…bin lyk a century I heard from galz like you…anoda hehehehe..thumbs up.. Abeg coach galz on how itz done! Let them smartn up n undastand ders more †σ flings,relationshipa and marraige..all different in dia fields,,n specialties required.