Posted: May 23, 2012 at 10:56 pm
AUTHOR: SheiFunmiPERSONAL SHEI: “When relationships own you..”
Individuals should steer clear from relationships that enslave them. These are the kinds of relationships that are indicative of infatuation and quickly fading emotions.
Typically, the couple is still in the midst of the proverbial “honeymoon stage,” which depicts the newness of the relationship and the passion that comes with having a fresh and exciting partner.
But new couples need not be the only ones to beware. Couples who have spent several years together, and who have grown apart are prey to these relationships as well. Everything relationship-oriented is routine and done without a second thought.
When you are in the midst of this kind of a relationship, you need to consider whether you are in it for the right reasons. Do you still love the one your with? Or have you fallen prey to the idea of a relationship? Is it your partner you are committed to?
Or, do you simply crave the comfort of having someone beside you regardless of your feeling toward them?
Are you just afraid of being alone?
When a relationship is in its beginning stages, or when the spark in a relationship has faded, that is when you are most likely to become enslaved by your relationship. In order to always remain in a successful relationship, it is important that you always have a clear understanding of why you are in a relationship. If this reason has become less clear with time, it is important that you take time apart to clear up the haze. It doesn’t do any good to remain in a relationship when both partners are not in love and wholly devoted to one another for the right reasons.
You will know if you are a victim of this if you act as a significant other, instead of a lover.
In essence, if you hold hands when you walk because it’s what you have always done, as opposed to doing it because you want to feel your partner’s hand in yours you are owned by your relationship. If you go on group dates just because all your other couple friends are goingyou are owned by your relationship. When you do things because you suppose that is what you are to do in a relationship, you are owned by your relationship.
To engage in a romantic relationship, there should be some romance between partners. Your significant other should seemwell, significant. You shouldn’t act in particular ways because it’s expected of you or because it’s what you’ve always done. You should delight to hold hands, hug, and kiss just because. You should go out with your partner because you would like to show them off, not because that is what the protocol in a relationship is.
If you find that you are in a relationship without genuine passion and love. You are owned by your relationship. The feeling behind it is unmotivated and unreal and you should get out of it as soon as possible. It’s not worth it for you or anyone else. You would certainly be happier alone. And even if you wouldn’t be happier, it just makes no sense to be in this kind of relationship. In fact, you are probably avoiding being alone because you dislike yourself. This is a symptom that something else is wrong and you should definitely work on your self-esteem. After all, no one could love you if you don’t love you.
May 23, 2012
I agree and disagree. The above needs to be balanced with whether you are an example of love. Often people don't "feel" in love because they are sabatoging their own happiness. Rather than working on themselves, the think it's the other person and the reason they're not "in love" is because the other person isn't the "right person". Often if they were really honest, they'd realize that they themselves were part of the reason the love didn't remain and grow into what should be beautiful. There is not enough respectful love in this world. We are not loving by nature. If it were so we wouldn't have so many broken relationships today.