Random Thought: ‘My Marital Scare’
You would think the long boring years of going through school is the most terrible experience or being locked away for good behind the electric walls of a hightech security Penitentiary is the worst nightmare. But my worst personal phobia–counting Hades–lies in a rather seemingly joyful institution: “Marriage”.
First off, I think any human who stays married for over 5years should be honored annually/paid stipends cos I respect them, A LOT.
The idea of being with a particular person, no matter how wonderful, for the rest of my life is too much a romantic reality for me to grasp; growing up with one’s parents is killing enough without having to add the coup de grace. People always think me a dumb misogynist, extreme cynic or too gay, each time I attempt to justify this premise rather than see my inherent fear of losing my independence, getting divorced & perhaps losing my sanity.
Why do I always see the negative sides of marriage, some of my friends often question… why can’t I see the pure bliss of holy matrimony they argue? Seriously I wanna agree with them but apart from hailing from a broken home, marriage these days has been trivialized to the point of cliche jokes if not obscurity even. If at all you survive the relationship curse, you see marriages being nullified just 24hours after, some, even decades later… Just so to pronounce how fashionable infidelity/divorce are nowadays. Besides some of us aren’t just marriage material. Period.
I always wanna maintain the fact that irrespective of how problematic my marriage is–that’s if I get married–I would wanna swim through no matter how murky the water is, after all I’d stand before God to declare “For better for worse”: that includes me forgiving my partner for infidelity even if caught red-handed & vice-versa, afterall we are humans, but how realistic is this logic. How forgiving are we when the in-thing is splitting up & hooking up with the next available hookable.
I’ve seen both firsthand/secondhand how divorce & foolery aka “I’m so in love” have broken homes & turned the kids into psychological wretches. And Just so I’ve got folks whose marriages make Indian movies seem realistic. But I’m inclined to the negative cos I’m very anal about failure. I’m as openminded as the labia, hoping one day someone would come along to push me in the marriage pool…..